Irony
by jenncgf
Summary: Irony - n.  an outcome of events contrary to what was, or what might have been, expected.  Fergus has decided to move on from his old life, but how will he get there?  Sequel to "Forgiveness."  Rated M for later chapters.
1. The Proposal

_A/N: I own none of the content that BioWare has created for the Dragon Age universe. But it's sure a great place to let one's imagination take off... :)_

_This story is the sequel to my story "Forgiveness." It continues Fergus' story but in a different direction, which is why I decided to create a sequel rather than continue the other tale. I hope you enjoy it!_

-0-0-0-

His sister was going to get married.

Married!

To Nathaniel Howe!

If someone had asked Fergus six months ago if he would approve of, or even tolerate, Elissa marrying Nathaniel Howe, he would have sent that person to a healer for a head examination. But since then, Fergus had worked through some of his own issues and had learned to see some of the greater truths about life and the people who surrounded him. Armed with his newly-found wisdom and evidence that Nathaniel was, indeed, nothing like his father where it mattered, he reevaluated his stance on his sister's relationship. It took him a long time to get to this point, but he was actually looking _forward_ to the wedding.

He sent off the letter to Elissa the moment he decided that he would definitely attend, and not so many days later, he received a reply asking him if he would please consider standing as one of the primary witnesses to the ceremony. He smiled at the request. "Of course I will, dear Sister," he said under his breath and wrote to her immediately. He had just finished pressing his ring into the sealing wax when he heard a knock at the door.

"Enter," he said, and the door swung open to reveal Aura. "Hello, Aura. Did you sleep well?" he asked pleasantly as he smiled at her.

"I did, Fergus. Thank you." Aura returned his smile before she sat in one of the chairs on the other side of his desk. "You said you'd wanted to see me?"

"Ah … yes. Yes, I did." Suddenly, Fergus was incredibly nervous. Fergus bolstered himself as he stood and walked around the desk to sit in the seat next to Aura's. _Come on, man! This is AURA you're worried about. She's your best friend in this world – you have nothing to be nervous about! _The idea had hit him the previous evening and it seemed like such a good one, but now that he was preparing to discuss it with Aura … he shook his head to clear it of negative thoughts before he started. He had to stop thinking that everything he did would turn out for the worst if he was going to keep his promise to himself to keep moving forward in life. After all, he had never expected that hiring Aura as his personal bodyguard would work out as well as it had – Aura had turned out to not only be an excellent protector, but had also been confidant, sounding board and best friend. It was partly because of her influence that he had finally let go of old hurts and made the decision to live his life for the future, rather than linger in the past.

He cleared his throat and turned to face Aura. "I … I had an idea." His voice sounded unsure, so he cleared his throat again and squared his shoulders before he continued. "I was trying to think of ways to deal with the whole inheritance situation, and I thought … well, none of the women I met in Denerim were at all what I would be interested in for a romantic relationship, even if they would have been qualified to act as teyrna otherwise." He shuddered as he thought of the parade of noblewomen who had been shoved under his nose to inspect as if he was purchasing livestock.

Aura raised an eyebrow. "What was your idea, Fergus?" She crossed her ankles and turned partway in her chair to face him. As she did, he noticed that she was watching him with curious eyes. He cleared his throat _again. _

"Well, I was thinking ..." he paused to look at her. Yes, she was still paying attention. His next words came out in sort of a rush as he barreled forward to get them all out. "I was thinking that you and I get along really well and since we have a sort of partnership going anyway, maybeyouwouldwanttomarryme?"

_Smooth, Fergus. Really smooth. _At least the words were out there now, even if they were _not_ eloquently stated. He looked at her as she blinked in confusion before the reality of what he had just asked dawned on her. She put her arms on the armrests of her chair and her eyes widened in shock. "Did .. did you … just ask what I thought you did?" He'd never seen her so flustered before. Her mouth opened and closed a few times like a fish before she found her voice again. "Fergus, did you just ask me to _marry_ you and become the teyrna?"

"...Yes." Suddenly this didn't seem as good an idea as he had originally thought, but he went ahead and explained his reasoning to her. "We do get along really well, you know? And we trust each other. That's important. I know you can pick up the additional duties that a teyrna would have to handle without question. Besides, I _know_ you would make an excellent mother," at this Aura's eyes widened even further, "and that you want children. This could be a chance for both of us to make a step forward, to take control of our lives and really start experiencing everything again." He sat back in his chair as he watched her. "I think that for both of us, this would work out to be an excellent way to move on."

Aura had listened carefully to Fergus' impassioned speech, and afterward she sat and looked down at her hands while a thoughtful look took over her features. After several moments, she looked up at Fergus and smiled. "You forgot one thing, Fergus."

He blinked. "What would that be?"

Aura rose from her chair and moved over to where Fergus was still seated. She sat on his lap and wound her arms around his neck before she lowered her head to his. He barely had time to murmur a surprised noise before she touched her lips to his. Fergus soon learned that Aura was an accomplished kisser and after the initial surprise, he moved his arms to her waist. Aura deepened the kiss and Fergus complied as she began to run her fingers through his hair. It was … it was _nice_, but Fergus found himself worrying if he was kissing her well enough or if he should try to caress her back or if he should attempt to take control of the proceedings from Aura. He found the entire experience very odd; he didn't remember worrying about those types of things before.

Before too long, she lifted her head from his. "Did you feel that?" she asked softly as she smiled at him.

Fergus looked at her in confusion. "Feel what?"

Aura's smile grew wider. "That would be my point, Fergus. There is no spark between us." She sat up straighter, but stayed in Fergus' lap. "All the reasons you gave me, all the explanations? They are absolutely true. And in the case of a political marriage, they would all be perfect reasons to arrange a marriage. You and I, however, have already both known what it's like to marry for love. After that …" she stroked his cheek as she smiled at him again. Fondness was evident in her expression and tone. "You are not a political creature when it comes to marriage. Neither am I. Which is why I'm afraid my answer has to be no. You need to take some time to meet people and give yourself a chance to find someone your heart desires."

"I'm … I don't feel like that will ever happen," Fergus confessed to Aura. He felt some distress at the sentiment. "You've said you didn't think it would happen for you, either. What do we do if we _don't_ find people to love and share our lives? I'd much rather marry someone I at least know will be my best friend than just anyone who happens to be available at the right time."

Aura moved to stand, so Fergus let go of her waist. She leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead. "I have a suggestion," she said. "If neither of us finds someone by the end of the next Landsmeet, we can talk about this again. But you need to get out and really _try_ before you decide that there is nobody out there for you." She smiled and straightened. "So, after the next Landsmeet, which will be about a year from now?"

Fergus sighed and looked up at Aura. "As my lady wishes." He smiled at her and she grinned back at him before she walked to the door.

"Was there anything else you wanted to discuss?" she asked. Fergus didn't have to look at her; he could hear the teasing humor in her voice.

Fergus chuckled. "No, that was all. Thank you, Aura." He heard her laugh softly and then the door closed a moment later. He leaned back in his chair and tilted his head back. "What would I do without you?" he asked as he smiled. He sat a moment longer before he stood and went back to his desk. "The paperwork isn't going to do itself," he murmured as he pulled the top letter off a particularly large stack. "I guess I had better get started." He looked at the door one last time and shook his head as he smiled one last time, then bent his head down and broke the seal on the letter before him.


	2. The Unexpected Visitor

"A contingent of Redcliffe soldiers is approaching, Teyrn Cousland," the guard informed him a few days later. He rose from his desk. "It appears that Arl Guerrin is with them."

"Thank you, Evans," Fergus said and strode to the front gates of the castle, pausing only long enough to grab a warm cloak. He donned it while he walked. As he made his way to the front of the castle, he wondered at the occasion for the visit. After all, he had just seen Teagan less than two months prior at the Landsmeet and as far as he knew, everything had gone well near the shores of Lake Calenhad since then.

He arrived at the front gates just as the party became visible on the horizon. Sure enough, when the group came close enough, Fergus saw Teagan's distinctive armor at the head of the armed soldiers who approached. When they came within earshot, Fergus hailed them. "Teagan! What a wonderful surprise! What brings you to Highever?"

"I thought I'd leave early for Elissa's wedding, but we've made better time than we expected," Teagan replied with a grin. "The weather actually cooperated with us for a change! I don't suppose my men and I could impose on you for an impromptu visit, and in exchange you can travel with us to Vigil's Keep?"

Fergus laughed. "I think that will work out quite nicely, Teagan." He clapped Teagan on the shoulder. "Let's see to getting you and your men some rooms."

-0-0-0-

They sat in the study after dinner and propped their feet up by the fire roaring in the fireplace. Fergus poured brandy into two snifters and handed one to Teagan, who nodded his thanks as Fergus settled into his seat.

"So, I must admit, I am surprised at your … enthusiasm … regarding your sister's wedding," Teagan began. His tone was cordial, but his eyes held a wariness that Fergus decided wasn't entirely unexpected. "When I saw you in Denerim, you were still angry about her relationship with Howe."

"I was," Fergus agreed, "but when she got sick ..." He paused and looked at his brandy as he swirled it in the snifter. He sighed heavily. "When I saw how ill she was, it reminded me that she's only human, the same as the rest of us. To also see how well Nathaniel was caring for her, and how worried he was for her safety … Well, even if Rendon hadn't set his troops on us here, he would _never_ have done that." He took a sip of his brandy, then set the glass back down. "Then the way they handled themselves at the Landsmeet only confirmed to me that they were committed to each other for all the best reasons, despite what Rendon did to us. I decided then to really try to accept Nathaniel into our family."

He looked up to see Teagan watching him with interest and not a small amount of admiration. "That is wonderful news, Fergus! Although, you're doing far more than merely accepting them as a couple, from the looks of things?"

Fergus smiled. "I've had a lot of time to think since I came back to the castle. And between sorting myself out, and Aura's ability to keep me moving in the right direction, I'd like to think I am ready to move forward with my life." He noticed that at the mention of Aura's name, Teagan's expression became more intense.

"Speaking of Aura," Teagan spoke calmly, yet the intensity remained part of his expression and crept into his voice, "what is her story? She told me that she was working for you, but there seems to be much more going on than that."

Fergus thought for a moment before taking another sip of his brandy. Teagan's interest was beyond that of mere curiosity, he thought, but why? And how much should he reveal about Aura and their history together? After some deliberation, he decided to tell mostly the truth, but to omit her employment for Zevran's Dark Wolf organization. After all, that particular secret was Zevran's to share, not his.

"Aura came to work for me at the castle several months ago," he began as he watched Teagan from the corner of his eye. "She and I found that we have much in common. Did you know she was married to a Grey Warden?"

"_Was_ married?" Teagan unconsciously shifted forward in his seat and leaned in. _He's very interested in her history. Hmm._

"Yes. Her husband died about a year and a half ago, I guess? She said Kristoff had come here with a group of Grey Wardens from Orlais to help initially bolster Elissa's numbers. They were killed by darkspawn. At any rate, seeing as we both were widowed and had connections to the Grey Wardens, we found that we had a lot to talk about. She helped me work through my grief over Oriana and Oren." At this, Teagan's posture drooped imperceptibly. If Fergus hadn't been looking for it, he might have missed it. _Aha, I think I see why Teagan wanted to know about her._ He disguised his smile by draining his glass and standing to pour himself a second portion. "Did you want more brandy, Teagan?"

"Hmm? Oh, no, I'm fine," Teagan answered absently. Teagan stared at his snifter, then, before he spoke next. "So, you are courting Aura then? I must say, she seems to be a remarkable woman. You are very lucky to have her here with you." There it was, if Fergus listened closely. It was well-disguised, but he caught definite traces of jealousy in Teagan's tone. _It's as I thought, then._

"She has been indispensible, it's true," Fergus agreed. He sat down in his chair again and leaned back. He kept his tone light and casual – it was difficult not to grin outright at Teagan's discomfort. He decided to let his friend off easy. "It's only too bad that she wouldn't have me."

He thought Teagan's neck might snap with the speed at which the man raised his head. His friend's eyes were wide with surprise. "She wouldn't … you ..." At this, Fergus couldn't help it. He laughed.

"Sorry, sorry," he chuckled once he brought himself under control. Fortunately, Teagan looked too relieved to be offended. "Aura and I are merely friends," he explained. "She has proven herself a capable woman as well as the best friend I've ever had outside of family. While the whole nonsense with Vaughan occurred, she stayed in my room … as a bodyguard." Teagan's obvious relief caused him to smile again. "I did ask her if she was interested in marrying me, but the arrangement would have been more business partnership than romantic entanglement, I'm afraid. We just don't see each other that way." He swirled his snifter again. "She turned me down because she would rather remain unmarried than commit to a loveless marriage, regardless of how friendly she and her spouse might be."

"A remarkable woman indeed," Teagan mused, "and with strong character! She actually turned down becoming the second most powerful woman in Ferelden because she's not in love with you?"

"Yes." Fergus grinned at Teagan, whose posture had straightened again and whose face had taken on a look of hope. He sobered though as a thought occurred to him. "Teagan, I don't know if she is ready to move on yet. Please, take care. I think of her as part of the family and while I understand your interest, I don't wish for her to be hurt."

Teagan's blinked and his expression changed to match Fergus'. When he spoke, his tone was equally serious. "I understand, Fergus. I won't push her into anything she isn't ready for. Although, from the sounds of things, I doubt I _could_ push her into something she didn't want," and at this he grinned at Fergus. "Which, frankly, just makes her all the more attractive! Will she accompany us to Elissa and Nathaniel's wedding? I would very much like to learn more about her."

Fergus chuckled and drained his glass before setting it down. "Yes, she is also attending the wedding, Teagan. Good luck, my friend. I'm not sure any of us deserve her, but you probably come closest." At this, Teagan laughed and they moved on to other topics.

-0-0-0-

The next morning, Fergus spotted Aura on his way down to breakfast. "Good morning!" he called. "Did you sleep well?"

Aura turned to face him. "Yes, I did. Thank you. Yourself?" When Fergus replied in the affirmative she nodded and finished arranging the flowers she had been handling.

Suddenly, Fergus had an idea. "You should join us for breakfast this morning, Aura." When she raised an eyebrow at him in response, he added, "I think Arl Guerrin would enjoy your company at the table." At the mention of Teagan's name, he saw color rise upon her cheeks. _Apparently the interest is mutual._ He held out his arm. "I'll escort you to the dining room."

She looked at him briefly, then shook her head. "You're not going to let me say no, are you?" she asked as she accepted his arm. "I know what you're up to."

Fergus laughed again. "Good. That makes this all easier, then." He bumped shoulders with her affectionately. "I thought you might enjoy the company as well, and besides, you never eat enough." She shook her head again and laughed as they made their way to the dining room.

Fergus knew that his decision had been wise when he saw Teagan's eyes light up upon Aura's entrance. He rose from the table and helped Aura sit before pouring her tea for her. Aura, for her part, watched Teagan with great interest and seemed pleasantly flustered by the attention. Breakfast proved lively and animated as Teagan and Aura found they had much to discuss. For his part, Fergus finished his breakfast quickly and excused himself, saying he needed to take care of some urgent paperwork. He knew he didn't fool either of them, but they didn't complain. He chuckled at the twin knowing looks they gave him before they fell back into their conversation.

He passed by the dining room an hour later to find them still talking animatedly. Teagan had moved his chair over to sit beside Aura and she was subconsciously leaning toward him as she blushed from time to time. Fergus smiled for his friends even as he felt a slight twinge of jealousy. _I can find my own happiness. They deserve happiness of their own._ The thought bolstered him and he smiled one last time before he quietly went on his way to tend to teyrnir business.


	3. Meeting with Family

The next several days saw the rapid development of Aura and Teagan's relationship. Fergus had always thought that Aura was a lovely woman, but as time passed and he saw her eyes grow brighter, her expression become more radiant, and her smiles become more carefree, he realized that he might have seen her previously at her worst. Teagan's attention clearly gave Aura what she needed in her life. Her transformation could be compared to that of a butterfly emerging for the first time from its chrysalis – she had been striking before, but now that she had the opportunity to spread her wings and fly, she became truly stunning.

Teagan, for his part, looked younger and more handsome by the day. Fergus was beginning to wonder if soon, people were not going to mistake him for the elder statesman even though Teagan was a decade his senior. Fergus watched Teagan carefully as he courted Aura; Teagan's reputation as a charming man who was ever the gentleman held consistently true, and as Fergus watched his fellow noble court Aura he noticed that the light that had entered Teagan's eyes was always strongest when he was looking at her. He also frequently caught Teagan looking at Aura with something akin to wonder on his face. The connection between his two friends steadily grew stronger with each passing day.

They stayed in Highever for a couple of days and then set out to Amaranthine. Fergus and Aura elected to travel with Teagan's guardsmen, since Teagan had brought plenty of his own men and Fergus wanted to leave his seneschal with as many able soldiers as possible. The trip passed quickly; the weather continued to remain mild, even though late autumn usually brought numerous end-of-season rainstorms with it, and with the foot patrols working tirelessly and competently, bandits were nonexistent on the main roads. The group found the extra time they had built into their travel completely superfluous. They arrived at Vigil's Keep a full two days earlier than they had originally planned.

Because they were so early, they didn't expect much of a welcoming party. After all, Fergus was sure that Elissa had her hands full running the arling and the Grey Wardens simultaneously. He was pleasantly surprised, therefore, to see a contingent of Wardens striding forward to greet them at the gate. Nathaniel was leading the Wardens.

"Teagan! You must have made excellent time!" Nathaniel's voice carried to them easily as he focused on Redcliffe's Arl, approaching him directly and clasping his hand. "Your message only arrived yesterday – we didn't expect to see you for another week."

Teagan grinned as he returned Nathaniel's handshake. "I didn't expect to be here so soon either," he admitted. "I have never experienced such smooth travel before. I suspect the Maker himself is smiling upon your union, and saw fit to allow your guests safe passage to your ceremony."

Nathaniel laughed at this. "If that was the case, then the Maker disinvited King Alistair and Queen Alfstanna! They sent a message saying that state business has delayed them. Elissa wants them to be able to attend, so we pushed the ceremony back a few days to accommodate them. I hope that this has not upset your plans at all?"

Fergus saw Teagan glance at Aura, then back to Nathaniel. "Not at all, my friend," he said amiably. "This merely provides us the opportunity to spend more time in good company." He then turned to Fergus. "Don't you agree, Fergus?"

At the unspoken invitation, Fergus stepped forward to join Teagan and Nathaniel. "I do indeed, Teagan." He extended a hand to shake. "Nathaniel, it is good to see you again. Thank you for inviting me to your wedding."

Nathaniel's expression held surprise and some embarrassment. "Your Grace! My apologies. I had not seen you there." Nathaniel met Fergus in a firm handshake as he searched Fergus' eyes. "I would have said something sooner-"

"It's fine, Nathaniel. I didn't exactly announce my presence." Fergus smiled at the younger man as he indicated his lack of Cousland insignia. Fergus had opted to travel quietly, since having both himself and Teagan in the same traveling party might have sent a blatant invitation to attack the party on the road. "And please, do call me Fergus. We're about to become family, after all." Fergus grinned and nodded at the question Nathaniel's eyes held, at which Nathaniel's cautious look relaxed and changed to thoughtful consideration. "Besides, anyone who's willing to deal with Elissa, _especially_ when she's sick, has earned it."

Nathaniel emitted a surprised laugh and out of the corner of his eye, Fergus caught Teagan's smile. The Wardens standing behind Nathaniel also relaxed as the residual tension in the atmosphere dissipated. Fergus was not surprised; after all, the last time he had seen Elissa, they had been at odds with each other over her relationship with Nathaniel. They had parted ways with Fergus' promise that he would try to accept their relationship, but Nathaniel obviously had not expected this much progress in the several weeks since they had last seen each other. To his credit, however, Nathaniel recovered from his surprise quickly and his expression relaxed. "She was an excellent patient. Anders, however ..." He rolled his eyes. "You would think a healer would whine much less when he becomes ill."

"Hey!" the healer in question interjected, much to everyone's amusement. The other Wardens teased Anders mercilessly, but Fergus paid no attention to them. He chose to watch Nathaniel as the younger man offered him a cautious smile.

"I apologize, but your wedding gift may be delayed," Fergus said. "I had arranged for delivery directly to the keep but I got word just as we left Highever that it would take longer than they originally thought." He thought of the mabari puppies that he had purchased for the Wardens. Hopefully they would be weaned in time to arrive before the wedding. There was a good chance that they would now that the wedding was pushed back.

"Your presence is the best gift we could ask for," Nathaniel replied. Fergus was touched by the sincerity in the other man's voice. "We were thrilled when we received word that you would participate in the ceremony." Nathaniel's smile reached all the way to his eyes as he looked directly at Fergus. Then he straightened and addressed both Teyrn and Arl. "I must apologize. Your rooms are not quite ready, but I will make sure that the servants prepare them as quickly as possible. Please, make yourselves at home in the meantime. We can set your men up in the barracks immediately."

"Where is Elissa?" Fergus asked. "Is she here at the keep?"

"She is," Nathaniel confirmed, "but she is meeting with Lord Eddelbrek at present. They should finish soon, I think."

"Eddelbrek is here?" Fergus remembered the noble fondly. Lord Eddelbrek had been one of Bryce Cousland's friends and held a reputation for ruling fairly and honestly. "I would like to say hello. Do you think they would mind if I poked my head in?"

Nathaniel grinned. "I know Elissa wouldn't mind at all. They are supposed to be going over the season's crop reports today." Fergus groaned good-naturedly; the crop report meeting was an essential, yet tedious, administrative task that always took far too long to complete. Nathaniel chuckled at Fergus' groan. "Exactly. They should be in the study."

"I had better go rescue my little sister then." Fergus smiled. "She must be bored to tears." He bowed to Teagan and Aura before taking leave of his hosts and heading toward the keep. As he walked, he noted that repairs to the keep were moving along steadily since it had been attacked by darkspawn a little over a year ago. Much of the keep was habitable already and everywhere he looked, repairs were progressing at a rapid pace. Fergus was impressed at how much had already been accomplished in the year since he had come to the keep to find it virtually destroyed.

He entered the keep and headed toward Elissa's study. As he walked, he looked into the open rooms that he passed. Progress on the keep's interior was progressing more slowly than the exterior, but the workmen had still made significant strides toward restoration.

He peeked his head into the dining hall and saw a woman sitting at one of the tables with a child in her lap. She looked like she was trying to feed the baby, but the baby was squirming and fussing. He stopped and watched as the woman tried to get the spoon to the baby's mouth and the baby refused to take it. It reminded him of when Oren was a baby. He expected some residual pain to surface when he thought of his wife and little boy, and there _was_ some, but it was a mild, dull ache that was greatly overshadowed by the warmth of the memory and not the sharp, stabbing pain he had expected.

He watched the woman struggle with feeding the baby for a minute longer, then stepped into the room. "Can I help?" The woman looked up in surprise as he removed his gauntlets and walked to the table. "It's been a while, but when my own son was that age, my wife said I was pretty good at calming him down enough to take the food. She said it was something to do with having him fed by someone other than his mother." He sat down on the chair next to the woman and put his gauntlets down.

"I'm willing to try anything at this point," the woman sighed with frustration as she handed the baby to Fergus, who sat the tyke on his lap. "He has been incredibly fussy the past few days. I don't understand why." She sighed again and closed her eyes for a moment. Fergus looked at the baby, who had calmed a little and was studying him with serious, thoughtful eyes as he chewed on his fingers. He saw the drool, the little shirt covered in food, and the hair that was still damp from a bath but was already smeared with porridge and had to grin. The baby laughed, and Fergus had a new best friend.

"Well," he said as the smile stayed on his face, "he certainly doesn't mind _wearing_ his food." He reached for the baby's spoon at the same time as the frustrated mother and they accidentally touched hands. His eyes widened as he felt a jolt of awareness. His eyes shot to her face, and he looked the woman in the eyes for the first time since he had entered the room. She was staring at him with a stunned expression that he was sure matched his.

She was _gorgeous_. Her skin was alabaster smooth; her hair was thick and dark as night, but looked soft and silky. Her eyes were as green and as deep as the sea, and her lips … He felt another jolt of awareness as unexpected images of capturing those full, lush lips with his own entered his head.

_Say something!_ Somewhere in the back of his mind, rationality was trying to gain a foothold. He opened his mouth …

"Uh," he said.

Rationality had apparently lost both its foot- and handholds and had fallen deep into the chasm of stupidity below it. If it ever recovered, he was sure it would come back and kick him in the head.

Fortunately, he was saved by a tiny slimy hand that reached up and smeared drool and porridge all over his chin. The spell broken, he looked down to see that the baby had reached over and grabbed a handful of porridge and was "sharing" it with him. "Why, thank you," Fergus said to the baby and laughed as he took the spoon from the baby's mother and started using it to scrape some of the porridge off of tiny hands.

"Oh, no," the mother said in dismay as she picked up her napkin. "I'm sorry. Your armor's all a mess too." She reached out and cleaned off the baby to a reasonably dirty state, then refolded the napkin and brushed it against his breastplate. Fergus was helpless to do anything but watch her small, delicate hands clean bits of porridge off of his armor. Her proximity utterly distracted him.

She wiped most of the food off his armor and automatically started to wipe his chin. Her fingers brushed his skin, and the jolt happened to him again. He was incredibly glad he was wearing armor so that she couldn't see the effect this woman was having on him, although if the sharp intake of her breath and the sudden trembling of her hands were any indication, she felt just as affected as he did. He took the napkin from nerveless fingers and finished wiping his face off, then forced himself to turn to the baby and focus on feeding him. The baby, glad to have some undivided attention finally, happily accepted a mouthful of food.

Once Fergus calmed down enough to speak normally, he cleared his throat. "Well," he said, "I think I know what the problem might be with your son."

"Oh?" she asked. Her tone was curious.

"I do believe that your little boy is teething." Fergus pointed to the bumps on the baby's bottom gums. "From the looks of things, his first two teeth should cut through any day now. He should calm down once they come in." He grinned at the woman. "In the meantime, you should rope your husband into feedings if you can manage it to save some of your sanity. It will help with the baby's neediness if you can pry him away from you at mealtimes."

"I'll manage to find someone to help," she answered. At Fergus' inquisitive look, she hesitated a moment, then said, "My husband passed away about six months ago."

..._Oh._ Fergus felt the sudden urge to kick himself. "I'm sorry," he said as he internally cursed his big mouth. "I shouldn't have assumed-"

"It's all right. You couldn't have known." She looked at Fergus with understanding in her eyes. Then, she changed the subject. "You said you have a son. How old is he now?"

"Well..." Fergus grimaced. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable, but he didn't want to lie, so he answered her. "He would have been ten now. He and his mother … they died during the blight."

Her mouth made an "o" and it was her turn for her expression to look embarrassed. "I'm sorry." She looked visibly distressed. "I should really know better than to ask questions like that." She looked down and her cheeks reddened.

Fergus softened his voice. "It's like you said; you couldn't have known." He thought for a moment. "A lot of families were broken during the past few years. It's been a rough time." He continued feeding the baby. "Hopefully, better times are ahead of us now."

"That would be nice, wouldn't it?" she mused as she watched Fergus spoon food into the little boy's mouth. For his part, the baby cooperated with Fergus and played with the stubble on his chin and gurgled at him between bites. Fergus enjoyed his company immensely. They fell into a comfortable silence that was broken only by the sound of the spoon scraping against the bowl and the baby's gurgles.

All too soon, the meal had come to an end. The baby took a spoonful of food, only to spit it out immediately without swallowing it. Fergus chuckled and grabbed the napkin to clean him up. "I think he's all done," he said. "He did pretty well. At least he should nap well on a full stomach now."

The baby's mother wore an expression of gratitude. "Thank you for your help," she said as she accepted the little boy back from Fergus. "It was _very_ nice not to have to fight with him for five minutes."

"It was my pleasure," Fergus said as he smiled at the baby. "The little man's got to eat, right? Besides ..." He debated whether or not to continue with his train of thought for just a moment, before the memory of the jolt of awareness prodded his mouth to speak for him, "I got to spend a little time with a great little boy and his charming and beautiful mother. I think I got the better end of the deal." He grinned when he saw her blush rise again, especially when it was accompanied by the hint of a smile. He decided to push his luck a little. "I never did get your name. You are …?"

"Fergus Cousland, as I live and breathe! It's good to see you, lad!" The familiar voice behind him caused him to start. He hadn't heard anyone enter the room, although he'd have been surprised if he would have heard a stampede enter the room, what with the woman in front of him occupying his full attention. "How have you been?" He turned to see Lord Eddelbrek and Elissa at the other end of the room.

"Lord Eddelbrek! It's good to see you as well." He smiled at the older man. "I was on my way to interrupt your meeting when I started talking to this lovely lady and her son here." He turned back to the woman to see her expression had changed to shock and horror.

_Did I say something wrong?_ He never got the chance to ask her directly, for she stammered out one last thank-you and quickly made excuses before leaving as quickly as she could walk. He blinked in astonishment before schooling his features and turning back around to greet his father's onetime friend. "But I see your meeting has concluded," he continued and made small talk with Lord Eddelbrek and Elissa for a minute before Eddelbrek excused himself, saying he needed to get back to his estate. They said their goodbyes and Elissa waited until Eddelbrek had left the room before she turned to Fergus.

"What was all that about?" she asked him quietly. She kept her expression and tone neutral, but Fergus couldn't help but feel that her concern went beyond mere curiosity.

"I'm not entirely sure," he said as he looked to the door where the woman had disappeared with her child. "I saw her trying to feed her son and we got to talking a bit. We were getting along famously and then all of a sudden, when you two came in, she seemed to get really upset. I … I'm not quite sure what happened, although I strongly suspect she didn't know who I am, and for some reason hearing my name upset her?"

Elissa suddenly looked tired and rubbed her brow with one hand. "That might be it, then," she agreed. She sighed. "Fergus, do you know who that woman was?"

"I have no idea," he replied, still completely perplexed with the sudden turn of events. "I assume she's a worker here at the keep?"

"Not exactly." Elissa sighed again. "You were just speaking with Nathaniel's sister Delilah."


	4. Making Amends

Fergus opened his mouth, then snapped it shut. He opened it again … only to snap it shut again. He decided to take a moment to compose himself. Fortunately, Elissa was nothing if not patient, so she watched him with a half-exasperated, half-bemused expression while he tried to figure out what to say next.

"Well," he finally said. His voice came out unsteady. "I hope I haven't made things too awkward for everyone." He looked at the door through which Delilah had left, then back at Elissa. "I should go speak with her and make things right. I didn't mean to upset her." He remembered the horrified look on Delilah's face when she realized who he was. Distress welled up in his chest; even though he hadn't meant it, he had unwittingly placed her in a difficult predicament.

Elissa's expression changed to surprise. She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at Fergus. "That's very gentlemanly of you," she observed. "Is this purely to keep the peace, or do you have some _other_ reason to speak with her? I know you wrote in your letter that you were feeling better, but ..." She shrugged. "Your change of heart since we saw you last has been remarkable, apparently." Elissa got _that_ look on her face – the one that screamed 'I'm able to see into your soul' – as she studied him with piercing eyes.

Fergus was torn. He desperately wanted to go after Delilah and explain that he didn't mean to cause trouble for her. At the same time, he had been planning to speak with Elissa and explain the revelations he had experienced during the three months since he had seen her last. From Elissa's perspective, his attitude change _was_ dramatic; he had gone from reluctant acceptance to enthusiasm regarding her relationship with Nathaniel Howe. He owed her an immediate explanation for the shift in his behavior.

After a long minute of consideration, Fergus sighed. Elissa was standing right in front of him and she'd been putting up with him for far longer than Delilah had. "This might take a minute," he said as he indicated the now-empty seats that he had just shared with Delilah. He waited for Elissa to sit and then took the chair he had recently vacated. Once seated, he turned to face his sister and found her already looking at him and ready to listen.

"I know that it seems like I've changed drastically. And I _have_, but ..." Words escaped him momentarily and he struggled to find the correct phrasing to explain what he'd been through. "Have you ever thought about something for so long, or worried about a problem, and then all of a sudden the solution just kind of … presented itself?" He looked at her to see if she was following him. She nodded for him to continue. "Well...I had a revelation not long after you'd sent me the news of your engagement. I spent a lot of time trying to work things out – trying to reconcile my promise to be at your wedding with my residual anger about Rendon Howe – and, well..." He shrugged at his sister. "Finally, after all that time and energy I spent focusing on my problems, everything seemed to fall into place. I finally understood what you and all those other people were telling me." He shrugged again, then lapsed into silence while he waited for a response from Elissa.

She sat next to him silently as a thoughtful look came over her face. He could tell that she was working through what he'd just said, so he waited patiently for her to draw her own conclusions. After a little while, she looked up at him. "A revelation?" she asked. "As in 'poof!' and suddenly everything was fine?" She sounded doubtful. Fergus could hardly blame her.

"...Yes, I guess you could say that. It's … it's more complicated than that, though." He sighed again and shifted in his seat as he thought about how much he wanted to share with her. _Ah, to the Black City with it. If anyone can understand …_ He looked at Elissa, who was watching him with questioning eyes. _From what she's seen in this world, she'd probably understand it better than I would. _He took a deep breath and began his explanation.

"I … I had a dream," he said. He hated the halting tone to his voice, so he cleared his throat and spoke up a little to try to counter it. "I dreamt that I got to speak with Oriana." At this, Elissa's eyes changed from doubt to consideration, so he continued. "She and I spoke, and she essentially gave me her blessings to move forward with my life." _More like she pushed me forward, but I don't need to delve into that part of it. _"When I woke up, I felt a lot better, and then I read her journal. A passage stood out for me; she had been talking about Nathaniel on what was probably his only visit to Cousland Castle."

"Why am I the only person who doesn't remember that visit?" she murmured under her breath. Fergus blinked; that was not the reaction he was expecting. Elissa shook her head then looked up at Fergus. The look in her eyes showed far more understanding than he would have thought possible, considering he had just said that he had based some major life decisions on a _dream_. For Andraste's sake, Fergus wasn't sure of his own sanity! "Well," she said, this time to Fergus, "I've actually heard of something similar. I can see that happening." Elissa smiled. "I take it Oriana liked Nathaniel?"

The laugh that Fergus barked out took him entirely by surprise. "Yes, you could say that." He grinned as he shook his head. "Well, at least there's _one_ person in Thedas who won't have my head examined for telling this story." He sobered then as he thought about it. "I … I know I was hard on you, little sister. I didn't realize that I'd never grieved properly over Oriana and Oren, and you and Nathaniel took the brunt of it." He sighed. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I _do_ realize that Nathaniel is nothing at all like Rendon was. He's done nothing but demonstrate that every time I've seen him." He leaned on the table and put his head in his hands. When he spoke, his voice was muffled by his palms. "It's times like these that I realize how much smarter you are than me."

He heard Elissa laugh softly next to him. "Not so much," she said. "I just got a head start on the process." He felt her arm drape across his shoulders. "You forget, dearest brother of mine, that I went through the same timing you did, but I started earlier. All things considered, once you got started, you became functional long before I would have." Her arms lowered to regroup around his waist and her head rested on his shoulder. When she spoke, her voice was serious and a bit tentative. "I still haven't worked up the courage to go through the castle," she murmured. "Until I do that, I won't be free of the last of it."

Fergus looked up with some surprise. Then he realized she was right. He brought his hand around and stroked Elissa's hair. "When you're ready, I'll be there for you," he murmured. She responded by tightening her arms around his waist and turning her head so that her cheek rested on his shoulder. She sighed, and they just rested for a few minutes in a companionable silence while they enjoyed the first true peace between them since before the blight.

Elissa was the first to break the silence. She pulled away from Fergus and sat up straight again. Fergus raised an eyebrow at the impish look in her eye. "So," she said, her casual tone at odds with the sparkle in her eyes, "tell me about Delilah."

Fergus groaned and put his head back in his hands. He heard Elissa chuckle quietly next to him as she put her hand back on his shoulder. "You saw that, huh?" He received an amused snort in response. "I saw her in here taking care of her baby. We talked. There was … there was a … connection, of sorts?" He suddenly wasn't so sure of himself and he could hear it in his voice. "I don't know. Maybe I imagined it. But, I wonder ..." He shrugged, unwilling to say more for fear of making a bigger fool of himself. "At any rate, I owe her an apology. She looked like she had quite the shock at discovering my identity."

"Let's go up to her room together, Fergus. I imagine that's where she's gone." Elissa stood and held out a hand for Fergus. He took it and she helped him up, then they made their way through the keep. As they walked, they spoke of inconsequential matters and enjoyed each others' company. Fergus silently thanked Elissa for the distraction, even as he knew he would be completely unprepared to face Delilah again. He had no idea what he was going to say exactly, or what to expect from Delilah, so he decided to wait and see what the situation would bring.

They arrived in what must have been the residential wing of the keep and Elissa led him to the far end of the corridor. She knocked quietly; Fergus heard a muffled voice from within. Elissa motioned for him to stay where he was and he nodded. She opened the door and left it open as she walked into the room.

He saw Delilah sitting on a large sofa that was facing away from the door. Elissa walked into the room and sat next to her as they began a conversation in hushed tones. He stayed in the doorway and glanced around the room – there was a crib on the other end of the room from the door entrance, and through the rails of the crib he could see the baby lying still. _The little man must have worn himself out. _Fergus had to resist the strong urge to walk over to the crib to watch the baby sleep. There was little else in the world as peaceful as a sleeping baby; he found he missed the sight tremendously.

He saw movement out of the corner of his eye and turned his head to see what was happening. Delilah and Elissa had risen from the sofa and were walking toward him. He straightened his posture and watched Delilah as she made her way to the doorway where he was standing. She kept her head up, but she failed to meet his eyes and her shoulders were stiff. Her face looked serene for the most part, but he could tell that was from training and not because she was actually calm.

"Delilah will show you to your room, Fergus," Elissa said pleasantly and smiled from behind Delilah as she gave Fergus a wink. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes at her cheekiness, but it didn't matter; Elissa had already turned to Delilah and was speaking to her. "Take all the time you want, Delilah. There's no rush. You know I'm always thrilled to spend time with Sam." Elissa turned her head and looked at the baby with a soft expression on her face. She turned back to Delilah and grinned. "This gives me the opportunity to spoil him rotten!"

At the remark, Fergus _did_ roll his eyes, and Delilah caught him at it. A small smile formed at the corners of her mouth, but it disappeared so quickly Fergus wasn't sure he'd seen it. Elissa shooed Delilah out of the room and closed the door firmly in Fergus' face. He blinked at the door for a moment, then turned to Delilah to see her looking not-quite at him. An awkward silence ensued, then Delilah took a deep breath and let it out. "Well," she said. "I … guess I should show you to your room." She turned and started walking down the corridor that Fergus had just traversed before arriving at her room.

He quickened his steps and caught up with her in three long strides, then adjusted his pace to match hers. They walked silently, save for the clanking of his armor; her face bore a pleasant but unapproachable mask, and his mind raced to come up with something, _anything_, that would appropriately convey his concern over her upset and his willingness to right things. His mind refused to work, and instead came up with new and increasingly strident ways to tell him that he was an idiot.

They arrived at a different wing of the keep fairly quickly and Delilah led him to the door at the end of the hall. She opened the door and led him inside, then spoke her first words to him since he had seen her in the dining hall. "Please, Teyrn Cousland, if you need anything, let someone know and your needs will be met." He winced. Normally, being called 'Teyrn Cousland' would not have bothered him, but after the easy familiarity they had shared in the dining hall, he found himself surprised at her use of his title. He found he _hated_ the sound of it coming from her lips, even with the respectful tone she used.

"Please," he said, and he closed his eyes momentarily at the pleading tone he used. "Please, call me Fergus." He tried to lighten the mood. "After all, we're soon to be in-laws." He tried smiling at her, but she didn't look up and he found his smile falter as he looked at the top of her head. He cleared his throat and they lapsed into another awkward silence.

He had just decided to contemplate the mud splatters on his toes, as he was _still _at a loss as to how to broach the topic of his apology, when he heard her draw in her breath hesitantly. "I think," she said slowly, "I think I owe you an apology, for the way I acted downstairs."

His head snapped up and he gaped at her. His mouth opened and closed like a dying fish, and he was sure that his shock was clear as day. He was unable to get any words out at all now, and so another pause occurred. Delilah looked up and saw his face, then hers settled into resignation. "It's not so unbelievable that a Howe would apologize to you, is it?" she asked wearily. Her tone held sadness and, surprisingly, acceptance. He would have expected her to be bitter, if anything, from the conclusion she had obviously drawn about his silence and shock. "I … I should go. I won't subject you to my presence any longer." She sighed and turned to go.

"N-no, wait." Fergus reached out, desperate to stop her and clear the misunderstanding, and he grabbed her arm. He realized belatedly that he must have left his gauntlets sitting on the dining hall table, but it probably wouldn't have mattered. The shock from physical contact with her was strong enough that he doubted wearing his gauntlets would have dampened it much. For the second time that day, he was glad to still be wearing his armor, for his physical reaction to touching her would have become embarrassingly apparent the moment she looked at him. As it was, he hoped that the heat he felt on his cheeks was mostly internal. He doubted his luck was that good.

He slowly turned Delilah to face him, and again she wore an expression of surprise identical to his. Her cheeks were flushed as well and her breathing had quickened. _At least it's not just me._ He released her arm and cleared his throat. He pushed through his nerves with the thought that he didn't want her to leave the room thinking that he thought she was unworthy. "Please, no. You don't … I … I owe _you_ the apology." He ran a hand through his hair in his frustration. "I made you uncomfortable, and maybe even frightened you, and such was _not_ my intention. I approached you and never introduced myself, and then ..." He shrugged instead of continuing; he thought that mentioning his flirtation might be pushing things even farther into the wrong direction. Besides, he wasn't sure he was entirely _sorry_ about that. "If there's blame to be laid, it should be at my feet."

As he spoke, Delilah's resignation turned to … surprise? Bemusement? He wasn't sure. "I should have recognized you, or at least that you were a noble," she said. "You look a lot like your father, and I should have recognized court flattery when I heard it." She shook her head. "Instead I let it go to my head."

Fergus blurted out, "What court flattery?" He was stupefied. He had no idea what she was talking about.

Delilah's eyes widened. "You weren't just flattering me when you said …?"

It was Fergus' turn to look surprised. "Other noblemen _do_ that?" He realized he really did know nothing about courtly behavior if the ladies expected the men to flirt constantly. Then again, he had left the marriage market at such a young age that he'd never needed to learn that sort of behavior to fit in, and his parents had always favored plain speech and diplomatic gentility over empty words. He rubbed his brow as a sudden tiredness took him over. "Ugh. No wonder I kept getting strange looks from the noblewomen I met at the Landsmeet."

At this, Delilah laughed. He watched, fascinated, as her face relaxed into open amusement. If she was gorgeous before, this transformation rendered her into a picture of stunning beauty. "I imagine it didn't slow them down at all," she said, with a sly grin on her face.

"That it did not. I was _never_ so glad to leave Denerim," he replied. "I was worried I'd be eaten alive!" At this, they both laughed, and Fergus found that he much rather enjoyed this part of their conversation over the earlier awkwardness. Getting to watch the dark-haired beauty in front of him relax and smile was an added bonus, but he was glad to be rid of the unwanted negativity. Their laughter faded, and they both stood shuffling their feet in a new awkward silence, but this time he didn't mind so much.

After a moment, he cleared his throat again. "I … I'd like to ..." He sighed. "Let's try this again." He held out his hand and bowed to Delilah. "Greetings, my lady. I am Fergus Cousland. Please, call me Fergus."

The lady in question laughed, then executed a perfect curtsey. "I am honored, my lord. You may call me Delilah." She placed her hand in his, then gasped when he lifted her hand to his lips.

He barely resisted the urge to turn her hand over and kiss the inside of her wrist, and instead settled for pressing his lips to her knuckles. Despite the chaste and proper gesture, he felt his breath quicken slightly and struggled to keep his tone light. "Charmed, I'm sure," he murmured and repressed the urge to sigh as he let go of her hand. He looked at her face as he straightened and saw her blush.

_This will be an interesting stay._


	5. Feeding Time at the Zoo

Delilah was already sitting at a table when Fergus made his way to the dining hall for dinner. She had the baby with her and was trying to coax him into eating from a spoon again. Fergus noted with amusement that both mother and child seemed to be wearing more food than the baby was taking in. The seats on either side of the pair were vacant, most likely because of the amount of food flying.

Fergus was distracted from his observation by movement from the corner of his eye. He looked up, and Elissa was waving to him. He made his way over to where she, Teagan, Aura and Nathaniel were all seated.

"We saved you a seat, brother," Elissa said as she smiled up into Fergus' face. "You're going to want to grab your food soon, though – there won't be much left once the men go back for seconds!"

Fergus chuckled. "That's always the way of it, isn't it?" he agreed. "Why is Delilah sitting separately from the rest of you?" He inclined his head to where Delilah was seated a few tables away. He did not fail to notice Nathaniel's raised eyebrow and narrowed eyes, nor the look of consideration on Aura's face as he asked the question. Teagan and Elissa just smiled knowingly.

"She finds that Samuel becomes even more distracted if other people are around while he eats," Nathaniel said pointedly. "Since he's been difficult for her at mealtimes, she has been trying to avoid distractions as much as possible."

Fergus looked back at where Delilah was still trying, unsuccessfully, to feed her child. "Well, I can try to help again. It worked this afternoon. Please, excuse me." He ignored Nathaniel's look of surprise and went to the serving table and filled a plate with various foods. After he'd gotten what he thought he could eat, he picked up his utensils and made his way to Delilah's table.

"Is this seat taken?" he asked amiably as he set his plate down.

Delilah looked up from her son and put her spoon down. "You're welcome to join us," she said with a note of exhaustion in her voice. "If you can find a seat that doesn't have food all over it, that is."

Fergus pulled out the chair next to her and grinned when he saw the applesauce splatters on it. He took his napkin and wiped off the seat, then sat down. "I don't mind," he laughed. "It looks like you could use a break. Would you like me to try again?"

Samuel had turned his head to see the newcomer. He grinned at Fergus and held his arms out for Fergus to pick him up. Delilah sighed. "Are you sure? You look like you just got cleaned up. I imagine you'll need to clean up again when you're done."

Fergus laughed again. "I won't melt," he assured her and held out his hands. Samuel leaned forward and pushed his way out of Delilah's arms and into Fergus'. Fergus smiled at the baby and wiped some of the goo off the baby's head and face and shirt, then held out a hand for the spoon. Delilah shook her head and handed it over before she took her own napkin and started wiping off her own clothing. The baby gurgled and examined the laces on Fergus' tunic by sticking tiny fingers into them and pulling on them.

"How do you do that?" Delilah asked as she cleaned herself up. "Samuel will only ever go to Elissa, Erlina or myself. He screams when any of the others have tried to hold him."

"I don't know," Fergus said, then bent his head down to Samuel. "I think it's because he figures I'll be his partner in crime." The baby laughed and tried to stick his hand into Fergus' mouth. "Also, I suspect most of the men around here have never been fathers, so they're not used to babies."

"That's possible, I guess," Delilah agreed. "But still ..." She sighed again. "Sam's going to need a _third_ bath today. I don't know why I bother." She looked at her dress ruefully. "I think I'm going to need a bath myself, after the mess he made."

Fergus chuckled. "I remember Oriana had the servants running with bath water nearly constantly when Oren was this age," he agreed. He spooned a bit of the applesauce that Delilah had been trying to feed Samuel and deftly spooned it into the baby's mouth. Samuel looked at Fergus with a measuring glare, but must have decided that Fergus wasn't going to back down, so he obediently swallowed the food and opened his mouth again. Fergus dipped the spoon back into the applesauce and took a small amount and placed it in the baby's mouth. "Some babies are just messy, I think. You should have seen Elissa at this age – she could be sitting still and she'd gather dirt to her as if she'd been rolling in mud!" He grinned at the memory. "I still remember Mother putting her hands on her hips and shaking her head at Elissa while she asked her how she managed to get dirt on her in a five minute time frame. She never did get her answer."

Delilah laughed in response. Fergus glanced over to see her smiling, even though her eyes were tired and her shoulders slumped in exhaustion. "It could be worse?" she asked, and Fergus caught the note of amusement in her voice. "I suppose I should count my blessings then. Mealtimes are the only truly messy times for him." She suppressed a sudden yawn. "Excuse me – it's not the company."

"If you're finished eating, why don't you lie down for a bit?" Fergus asked. He was surprised at the soft tone in his voice. "I'm certain I can get Elissa to help me if Sam becomes difficult and you've had a hard day. I'll finish his dinner and Elissa and I can clean him up."

Delilah looked up at him in surprise. "Are … are you sure? I don't want to impose, and you're a _guest_ here. I should be asking how I can help you!"

Fergus examined her face closely and saw the dark circles under her eyes. "Go," he said as he smiled. "I've missed being around the little ones, so if it makes you feel better you can think of it as doing me a favor." His smile grew broader then. "Besides, as a mother you need extra naps yourself. It's hard work!" Delilah chewed on her lip for a moment, clearly indecisive. "Really, I'll be fine. I look forward to it." As if to agree, Sam giggled and started pulling at Fergus' tunic again, and Fergus reacted by getting Sam another spoonful of food. Delilah watched the baby readily accept the applesauce from Fergus and suddenly her look turned to gratitude. She pushed her chair out.

"Thank you," she said. Fergus smiled at her as she rose from the table. "Please, if he becomes too much just bring him to me, all right?" Fergus waved her off in a shooing motion and she chuckled. "All right! All right! I'm going." Her look softened. "Really, thank you. It's … thank you." He looked up at her and smiled in understanding.

"Go before he realizes you're leaving," Fergus commanded as he kept his voice soft. "We'll bring him up at his bedtime." Delilah smiled, and without another word walked quickly to the doorway. She looked back one last time and he jerked his head as if to say, "Go!" and she smiled and shook her head, then left the room.

Fergus turned his attention back to feeding Samuel, but counted in his head. _One one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand … _He made it to ten before he saw a person approach in his peripheral vision. He looked up to see Elissa leaning over him with a smile on her face.

"You're getting slow in your old age, little sister," Fergus said as he continued feeding the baby. "I thought you'd have made it over here the very moment Delilah went to her room." He looked back to the baby, who was watching him with eyes that said _hey you, I'm right here! _He smiled at Samuel, who, mollified, opened his mouth for another bite. "I'm surprised you haven't pried him out of my hands yet."

He heard an exaggerated sigh. "I'd try, but I doubt Delilah would like to hear that we had a tug-of-war with her child as the rope." He chuckled, which caused the baby to giggle and spit out his mouthful of food. He picked up his now-filthy napkin and tried to clean off the baby with it. "Let me get you another napkin." He nodded his assent and heard her walk away, only to return a moment later. "Here you go," she said and handed him a clean napkin, then sat down in the seat that Delilah had occupied until a minute earlier. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her lean in. "You've created quite a stir already, brother," she murmured. "Be ready for questions."

Fergus snorted. "I doubt I have any answers for the questions, to be honest." He saw that Sam was bored with the applesauce, so he broke up bits of bread and held them for the baby to take. "Besides, there's really nothing to tell. For some reason, Samuel cooperates with me, so I told Delilah to get some rest. She looked like she was about to fall over from exhaustion."

"Uh huh." Fergus looked up at Elissa's tone and saw her watching him with a grin on her face. "So it's just out of the kindness of your heart that you're helping out."

Fergus sighed. _Even after all this time, she still finds ways to torment me._ "Should there be any other reason?" He raised his eyebrows and fed Sam another piece of bread.

"I don't know," Elissa murmured and tapped her chin thoughtfully. Fergus didn't trust the glint in her eye, however. It was evil. Pure and utter evil. As in, "I'm your little sister and I know how to make your life miserable" evil. "I was wondering if your kindness extended to watching her hips sway as she walked out the door..." her voice trailed off and she gave him a meaningful, and mischievous, look.

"I didn't...!" Fergus closed his eyes and sighed. "I probably did, didn't I?" Elissa snorted in response. "Was it that obvious?" This time, the response took the form of a snicker. Fergus sighed again. "You don't have to enjoy this so much, you know."

"Ohhhh yes, I most certainly do." Fergus didn't need to look up to see the grin that was probably spread from one of Elissa's ears to the other. "I haven't had this much fun messing with you in _ages_." She leaned in closer. "I missed it." The conspiratorial tone set Fergus' eyes rolling again and she let out another snicker. "Enjoy the rest of your dinner!" she said in her normal tone, albeit far more cheerfully than Fergus would have expected. He looked up as she excused herself from the table. "Let me know if you want help with Sam; I'll be in my study for a while." Her eyes softened, then, and her expression showed affection. "You don't need to jump into anything you're not ready for, big brother. Just don't hurt her if you can help it. She's tough, but I think that she's still somewhat fragile from everything." Fergus nodded at her to show she understood. Elissa's eyes turned mischievous then, and she asked, "Fergus?"

"Yes?" Fergus feared where this was going.

"There's applesauce on your breeches." She walked away, laughing, as Fergus looked down to find that Samuel had grabbed the bowl of applesauce and dumped it right in the center of Fergus' lap. He looked at Samuel to see the baby nonchalantly chewing on the edge of a wooden bowl and laughed. "You just had to make us match, didn't you?" The baby gurgled at him in response and Fergus wiped his pants off as best he could, shaking his head in amusement. "Come on, then," he said to Samuel as he stood. "Why don't you come with me and I'll give you a bath, then change my clothes?" Samuel threw the bowl on the ground, then reached up and tried to smear slimy little fingers in Fergus' facial hair. "All right, I'll wash my face too." The baby grinned at him and Fergus carried him up to his room.

-0-0-0-

He stood outside Delilah's door and looked down at the baby. "Remember now," he whispered. "We'll go in, try to find you some new clothes, and get you dressed for bed. You have to let your mother sleep." The baby giggled at him in response. "You ready?" He smiled at Samuel and quietly turned the handle.

The room was darkened except for the flickering of the fire in the fireplace. Fergus moved quietly to the crib and looked around to see if anything stood out as being baby-appropriate to wear. He spied some folded clothing on a nearby dressing table and moved over to it, pausing long enough to sit on the chair in front of the table. Sure enough, on top of the folded stack was an outfit that Fergus thought would be comfortable for Samuel to sleep in, so he unfolded it and sat the baby in his lap, then started to dress the baby.

He thought he was being quiet, but as he dressed the baby he heard a quiet and sleepy, "Who is it?" from the bed behind him. He turned to see Delilah sitting up in her bed, her hair mussed. Even in the dim light of the fire, he could make out cheeks flushed from sleep. "Fergus? Is that you?"

"Yes," he said quietly. "I was just dressing Sam for bed."

Delilah swung out from the bed and padded over to him in bare feet. Fergus was glad that the darkness hid both the expression on his face and his physical reaction to seeing her in her modest nightgown. She looked – well, Fergus had always prided himself on being a man who had no problem controlling his reactions to lovely women, but she was testing all of his limits without realizing it. "You don't have to do that." She yawned. "I can … did you give him a bath?" She sounded surprised.

Fergus chuckled. "Yes. He was filthy yet again after dinner. I put his clothes in with my laundry and kept him in his towel to bring him here."

"Thank you," she said, and again, Fergus could hear the surprised tone in her voice. "What time is it, anyway?"

"It's a little past nine," he informed her, and even in the semi-darkness he could see her eyes widen. "We finished dinner, then had a lovely time playing, then he started to get tired so I bathed him and brought him here." He finished threading tiny hands into tiny sleeves and fastened the outfit. "His diaper was surprisingly dry, so I left that on. He should be ready to go to sleep anytime now." As if on cue, the baby yawned and jammed a thumb in his mouth. Both Fergus and Delilah laughed softly.

Delilah reached for her baby, and Samuel let himself be handed over without fussing. He rested his head on her shoulder and sighed, then began sucking his thumb anew. She stood for just a moment, stroking her baby's hair with her chin on top of his head, and Fergus was struck with how perfect the moment was. He willed his attraction to stop attempting to rule him and stood up. He was sure Delilah would notice his physical response to her appearance, but she had already moved away to place Samuel in his crib. He willed himself to relax and took a couple of silent deep breaths to calm himself.

She placed the baby in his bed and smoothed his hair one last time, then turned back to Fergus. He was struck with how small and delicate she looked in the firelight. "Thank you again," she said simply, and then she smiled.

Fergus thought his heart might burst out of his chest. "Any," his voice sounded hoarse to his own ears so he cleared his throat, "anytime, Delilah. It was my pleasure." He fought the urge to lean in and close the space between them. "I should … uh, I should let you go back to sleep. See you tomorrow?"

Delilah's smile grew wider, and Fergus took an involuntary step forward before he realized what he was doing and forced himself to halt. "I'd like that," she confirmed. "Sleep well, Fergus."

"You too," was all Fergus could manage. He dragged himself slowly out of Delilah's room and gently closed the door behind him. He managed to walk to his room and close his door behind him before he collapsed and rubbed his hands on his face.

_I am in deep, deep trouble._ Somehow the thought didn't frighten him in the least.


	6. Reassurances

_A/N: Sorry the delays have been getting longer, my faithful readers. I've been having a devil of a time IRL and to top it off, the muse has been capricious at best! I DO intend to see this story through to the end, and I have Definite Ideas(tm) in mind to write for this story, so please bear with the delays. Thank you all!_

-0-0-0-

Over the next several days, Fergus developed a routine. He'd wake and dress for breakfast, then make his way down early. Usually, Delilah and Samuel would already be there and in various states of messiness. Fergus would sit Samuel on his lap and feed him bits of his own breakfast while he chatted with Delilah about inconsequential matters. Fergus truly enjoyed starting his day this way.

Then Fergus would go upstairs and clean food and baby goop off himself before heading down to the training yards, where he would work through his paces with Oghren. He was glad for the opportunity to learn more from the experienced warrior, and sometimes he would help Oghren train the guards and soldiers, taking the sword and shield users and showing them some of the techniques his instructors had shown him when he was a young boy. He found the exercise cleared his mind and allowed him to _not_ think of Delilah Howe for a few hours. He didn't mind thinking about her – in fact, quite the contrary, but since otherwise he was thinking about her nearly constantly...

He would eat lunch with Elissa and Nathaniel, Aura and Teagan (Delilah must have taken lunch in her rooms normally, for he didn't see her then), and together they discussed politics, recent events, and any pressing business that needed attention from a teyrn and two arls. They also chatted about more mundane topics and Fergus noted with satisfaction that Teagan and Aura grew closer every time he saw them together. Both of them looked happier, younger, and more relaxed around each other than when they were separate (not that he saw them separated for any serious length of time), and Fergus suspected it wouldn't be long at all before another wedding announcement was proclaimed. He mentally started to plan for Aura's successor, for he suspected she would not be in his employ for much longer. Nathaniel and Elissa, likewise, had grown incredibly close and truly seemed to complete each other. He found himself looking forward to their wedding ceremony, even if he did still face calculating looks from Nathaniel.

The afternoons brought about wedding preparations, oversight of keep repairs, general arling business and plenty of down time. Fergus spent much of this time assisting Elissa where he could, but when he wasn't needed, he wandered the compound or read in the library. Frequently, he would see Delilah and Samuel again during these times, particularly since she showed a penchant for walking down to the merchant stands and browsing the wares. If he saw Delilah, he usually chatted with her some more and perhaps carried Samuel for her, and they would spend a pleasant afternoon in each other's company until dinner. Then, it was off to the dining hall, where he again helped Delilah feed Samuel his dinner and the baby would invariably make a mess of Fergus yet again.

After dinner, everyone at the keep who wasn't on duty tended to relax and drink, play cards, or generally spend their free time however they saw fit. Fergus joined the Wardens and his family during this time and the evenings passed as quickly as the days.

Samuel cut his first teeth on the third day of Fergus' visit to the keep, and never had he seen a more relieved mother. Samuel started behaving much better at mealtimes, and though he still demanded and pushed and dumped and generally conveyed his emotions clearly for all to see, he definitely showed a much mellower demeanor than he had when Fergus had first arrived. Delilah relaxed and looked less tired; apparently Sam had been running her ragged, even with the help that Fergus tried to provide. He only hoped that his presence helped mitigate the strain on Delilah as a single mother.

About a week after Fergus, Teagan and Aura arrived at the keep, Nathaniel announced at breakfast that he was heading into the city of Amaranthine to pick up some supplies for the wedding. He turned to Fergus. "Would you like to come with me, Fergus?"

Fergus guessed by the almost-hidden challenge in Nathaniel's eyes that this "question" was less a polite request and more a dare. _I'm just surprised it took this long._ He arranged his face into a smile and replied, "Certainly, Nathaniel. It's been some time since I saw Amaranthine. I'm curious to see how much it's changed over the years."

-0-0-0-

They managed to walk an entire mile from the keep before Nathaniel asked the question. Fergus had been watching him for some time, so he caught the moment Nathaniel stopped walking and sat down on a log by the side of the road. He sat alongside Nathaniel and waited. It only took a moment, during which it appeared that Nathaniel was collecting his thoughts, before the younger man spoke.

"What are your intentions regarding my sister?" he finally asked. Fergus detected an uneasiness in Nathaniel's tone that had not been present before. "You must know that I've seen you spending time with her, and as her brother ..." Nathaniel looked at Fergus, then, and Fergus saw the unease that had been in Nathaniel's voice written plainly on his face. "I know this sounds hypocritical, but I need reassurance that you are not in this to hurt her, to retaliate against _me_ because of what Elissa and I share." Nathaniel looked back down at his hands, which were resting loosely on his knees, and fell silent.

Fergus took some time to formulate his answer. When he decided what to say, he took a deep breath and prepared himself mentally in case of any sudden backlash. "I … I don't have _any_ intentions at this point. Hear me out," he said as Nathaniel raised his head sharply and began to speak. "What I mean to say is that I thoroughly enjoy your sister's company. I feel like we have a … a connection, but I don't intend to do anything," this he felt bore repeating, so he said it again and stressed it, "_anything_ that would dishonor her. She is a wonderful woman and I find her fascinating, and, well..." he shrugged. "It's too soon for me to say much else at this point." He paused a moment, then added, "I can say with absolute certainty, however, that I have no plans to use her and I feel no need to retaliate. If I still had a problem with Elissa's choice of husband, I would not have shown up to the keep for the wedding." He turned his head and looked out at the landscape as he gave time for Nathaniel to think and respond.

After a few minutes, he heard Nathaniel take a breath as if to speak. He turned his head back to look at his sister's betrothed just as he heard, "I see." Nathaniel's expression had changed somewhat from unease, and instead showed some residual worry mixed in with consideration. Fergus waited another excruciatingly long minute waiting for Nathaniel to speak again, then Nathaniel's shoulders slumped and he watched Nathaniel's expression change yet again, this time forming a rueful grin. "How did you stand it? I mean, I was away squiring, or I'd probably have had more than a couple of the noblemen sons' heads on pikes if they got anywhere near Delilah." He half-chuckled and shook his head, the rueful expression still on his face. "You had to actually see it happening and wonder about all their motives."

Fergus grinned at that. "Well, it's much easier when the lady in question can kick all of their asses," he said. Nathaniel actually laughed at the comment and Fergus felt a wave of relief sweep through him. He sobered slightly then, but tried to keep his tone light. "If I did anything stupid where Delilah was concerned, I am under no illusion that Elissa wouldn't be first in line to kick me all the way back to Highever from the keep. You wouldn't be allowed near me until she was done working me over, and I doubt there'd be anything left."

"That is true," Nathaniel murmured, then stood. "I suppose I have no choice but to believe you, but I also suppose I don't have to tell you that as my only family I worry about her well-being."

Fergus nodded and took the offered hand to help him stand. "I understand completely where you're coming from, Nathaniel. I swear on the Cousland name that I will do everything in my power to avoid hurting Delilah or creating bad blood between our families."

"You didn't have to do that," Nathaniel said quietly, but all the same the look of relief his face held convinced Fergus it _was_ necessary. "Thank you, though. It means a lot to me that you would willingly put your name on the line for this." He clasped Fergus' hand in a gesture of friendship. "Come on. If we walk quickly, we can make it back in time for dinner."

-0-0-0-

They made it back to the keep just in time for the evening meal, so they headed straight for the dining hall. Fergus' steps were light and he walked as quickly as he could without looking like he was rushing. He entered the room and the first person he saw was Delilah.

She was sitting with her back to him. He could see Samuel's little head just past her shoulder; she must have had Sam in her lap and was trying to feed him. He went straight to her table without stopping first to pick up his food.

As he drew near, he could hear her talking to Samuel. "Now, now. Fergus can't be here at dinner tonight. We'll see him for dinner tomorrow, perhaps." Her tone was gentle, but Fergus thought he detected a note of sadness in it. He couldn't help but wonder if his mind was playing tricks on him, telling him what he wanted to hear instead of reporting events accurately. Samuel squirmed and fussed, and Fergus' feet carried him forward the remaining steps until the baby could see him standing there.

Samuel looked around and saw Fergus and let out a piercing, happy squeal that brought a smile to Fergus' face. Delilah started and turned in her seat to see what had caused Samuel to react so strongly, and as soon as she saw Fergus, the tired lines in her face erased and he imagined he could see her sit up straighter as her expression relaxed into a smile. Fergus thought she looked radiant. _I guess I hadn't imagined that after all._ The thought reassured him greatly.

"Hello!" she said, her voice conveying more enthusiasm than Fergus expected. "We weren't expecting you back in time for supper." She beamed up at Fergus and Sam practically launched himself off her lap with his arms outstretched. Fergus laughed as he leaned forward and plucked the dirty baby from his mother and settled him comfortably in his arms. Delilah laughed at the baby's excitement. "I see how it is, Sam," she chided her baby, but her eyes twinkled. "You're fine with your poor mother until you see a big strong man come by, then it's all about doing manly things together." She grinned at her son as he gurgled a greeting to Fergus. "Well, it looks like your hands are full and mine are suddenly free. Would you like me to get you some food?" She transferred her grin from the baby to Fergus, and he needed a moment to catch his breath before he answered her.

"Y-yes, thank you." He blinked as the familiar sensation of feeling his blood rush from his brain in a distinctly downward direction hit and decided to sit down before he embarrassed himself in the middle of the dining hall. He sat in the seat next to Delilah's as she moved away, unaware of the goofy grin on his face, and picked up Sam's spoon. "Are you ready to eat, little man?" Samuel grinned at him and opened his mouth wide.


	7. Elissa's Wedding

There was a knock on the door of his room as he was putting on his boots.

"Enter," he called, and the door swung open to reveal Aura. He smiled at her even as he raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Aura! To what do I owe this honor? I thought you would be helping Teagan dress for the ceremony."

His smile grew to a full-blown grin as he saw color rise in Aura's cheeks. She looked lovely in a dress he'd not seen on her before. The soft blue of the dress worked wonderfully with her complexion and her light hair, and the darker blue vest and overskirt brought depth to the outfit. The cut and and detailing on the dress made Aura look elegant and beautiful.

Aura laughed, although the laugh came out sounding more like a giggle. Fergus' eyebrows raised a little higher; _this_ was certainly not a sound he'd heard from her before., although he admitted to himself that the sound matched her current demeanor quite nicely. "Teagan's already dressed," she said as her cheeks brightened further, "so I thought I would help you finish getting ready. After all, you'll be standing up front with the others."

Fergus laughed, both at Aura's blush and her tacit admission of physical intimacy with his fellow noble. "I see," he teased, then he spoke more seriously. "I thought perhaps you two had become serious. I think you are good for each other." He smiled warmly at Aura as she looked up at his face for confirmation of his words. "He's a good man, Aura, and he will always do his best to treat you well."

Aura chose not to respond to Fergus' words and instead picked up his doublet and started fussing with it. Fergus could see the smile on her face and soft look to her eyes, however. "You've got to finish getting ready, Fergus! You need to be downstairs in ten minutes!"

"These things never start on time!" Fergus complained good-naturedly, "and it will only take me two minutes to finish getting dressed!" Still, he allowed Aura to fuss over his appearance and check his hair to make sure it was combed properly.

Finally, she was satisfied with his presentation and he offered her his arm to walk her down to the main hall where the ceremony was to take place. Aura murmured quietly as she took his arm. "I love him, Fergus. I .. I didn't think it would happen again." She squeezed his arm with her hand. "I hope you can find someone too." He looked down at her in surprise to see her looking up at him with knowing eyes.

"We shall see," Fergus murmured back. He smiled at her and began walking, and they made their way down to the main hall. They entered and Fergus saw most of the keep's guards and soldiers already seated. The Grey Wardens formed an honor guard, standing at strategic locations throughout the room in armor that shone brightly from thorough cleaning and polishing. King Alistair and his queen Alfstanna, the former bann of Waking Sea, were seated at the front of the room and sitting around them were several of Alistair's personal guards. Fergus imagined that Alfstanna needed to sit since she should have been halfway through her pregnancy and was probably exhausted. Teagan was waiting near the door and accepted Aura's arm from Fergus with a smile.

"Good luck up there, my friend," Teagan remarked with a smirk. "Don't forget anything important."

Fergus laughed. "I think I can remember to sign my own name, Teagan! That's about the only thing that I need … to … remember ..." He didn't realize his words had trailed off as he saw Delilah enter the room.

He thought she looked beautiful before, even while covered in food and baby goop. When she dressed up, however …

She took his breath away. He didn't realize he'd forgotten to breathe until he felt a nudge and heard a whispered, "Air, Fergus," from Aura, then a quiet laugh. He took in a deep, gulping breath, but it didn't make a difference; he still felt dizzy and not quite sure when the roaring in his ears would stop.

Delilah wore a simple, but exquisite, dress that was cut from dark green velvet. The gown had but a few gold trim and embellishments on it; largely the fabric was left alone. She wore little jewelry and no make-up that he could see, and her hair was simply done, but it looked absolutely perfect for her. Everything about her presentation was simple and understated, but at the same time she radiated class and grace. Fergus found he was actively fighting the urge to go muss everything up – dress, hair, jewelry – and make a spectacle of the both of them.

All right, so perhaps remembering to write his own name might be a _tad_ challenging.

Delilah looked up at him, and he couldn't help but notice that the dress made her green eyes look deeper and more arresting. She smiled and his breath caught again; he had to remind himself to breathe yet again. "You look stunning," he nearly growled to her. If he had been capable of coherent thought, he probably would have shaken his head at the artless tone and almost overpowering body language that screamed _THIS IS MINE!_ as he offered her his arm. She took the proffered limb and somehow his feet managed to begin to guide them toward the front of the room.

"Thank you." He almost missed her response, uttered in a shy, quiet tone. He looked over at her and briefly caught her deep blush and shy smile before he turned his head back to make sure he didn't trip and knock the both of them over. "You look handsome yourself."

Maker, he'd have thought that after being at the keep for an entire month he would have gotten used to the effect she had on him. As it was, each time he saw her she managed to stun him as if he'd run headlong into a stone wall. He took a few deep breaths to try to calm himself, but he made the mistake of inhaling through his nose; Delilah's natural soapy scent was mixed with lilacs and he felt that wall smack into him yet again. His steps faltered for a moment, then he forced his feet to move forward.

Somehow he managed to guide both of them to the front of the room, where the priestess was already waiting for the ceremony to start, without falling flat on his face. He felt her free hand pat his arm as she gently disentangled herself and heard her whispered, "Thank you, Fergus," before he took his position in a daze. He _thought_ he greeted the priestess, but he wasn't sure. He hoped he did so that he wouldn't look like a complete idiot.

It wasn't long before Nathaniel and Elissa arrived in the room and took their places for the ceremony. The wedding itself was short, as such things were wont to be; it was just as well, since Fergus didn't register anything that was said, even his own responses. He _did_ manage so sign his name to the marriage contract, so at least he didn't embarrass himself on paper. He did notice that Elissa looked beautiful and that she and Nathaniel looked happy and relaxed throughout the ceremony.

Afterward, before the congregation departed for the dining hall, Elissa gave Fergus a hug. As she did, she whispered in his ear. "Nathaniel is an excellent dancer," she murmured quietly, and then he heard her laugh. "I think it's safe to assume that Delilah also dances well." She detached herself from Fergus and he noted the distinctly mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "You should ask her later." Fergus just shook his head and grinned before handing her over to her new husband. _Even on her wedding day, she teases me._ He chuckled and offered Delilah his arm again to escort her to the dining hall.

-0-0-0-

Delilah was, in fact, an excellent dancer. She was also charming, witty and a brilliant conversationalist, but Fergus already knew those things about her. They spent the majority of the celebration talking or dancing together, and Fergus couldn't remember the last time he had spent an evening so enjoyable.

About halfway through the party, one of the keep's servants arrived with little Samuel in her arms. The baby had been dressed in a miniature black and green doublet and trousers which exactly matched Fergus' outfit. He grinned and plucked Sam out of the servant's arms before Delilah had the chance. "So, was this planned?" Fergus indicated the matching outfits with a grin as the baby drooled on his shoulder.

Delilah laughed. "I didn't plan it, no," she said, "but perhaps Erna had leftover material when she made your clothing. At any rate, you both look very handsome." She blushed and ducked her head down as she said the last part. Fergus resisted the urge to put one of his arms around her as he mentally thanked the keep's seamstress. _We look like a family._ The thought simultaneously stunned him and sent a warm feeling spreading throughout his entire being. He recovered quickly from the momentary shock, however.

"Nobody could possibly notice us with you here." He felt another warm rush when Delilah's blush intensified. Maker's breath, she was incredibly beautiful! "Let's go show off the little man," he suggested, and offered his free arm for Delilah to take. Her smile was all the answer he needed as she took his arm, and he escorted them around the room to let all the ladies ooh and ahh over the baby's finery. Samuel enjoyed the attention almost as much as he enjoyed chewing on his fingers and scratching Fergus' freshly trimmed beard.

They managed to make the rounds before Samuel yawned a few times and fell asleep on Fergus' shoulder. Delilah moved as if to take the baby from Fergus, but he shook his head. "I'll walk you both up," he said quietly. "I don't mind." Delilah looked at Fergus as if she was about to protest, but before she could say anything, he smiled. "The less we move him about, the more likely it is that he'll stay asleep."

"That's true, I suppose," Delilah replied. "Are you sure you don't mind? I don't want to take you from the party." She looked worried, and Fergus hastened to reassure her.

"I'm about partied out anyway." As if to prove his point, the sudden urge to yawn overcame him and he quickly covered his mouth with his free hand. This caused Delilah to chuckle; Fergus decided he really liked the warm, husky sound and he found he wanted to hear it again very soon. "Let's go." He smiled again at her and she shook her head, but took his arm again and he guided her away from the party and toward her quarters.

They didn't speak much on the way to Delilah and Samuel's room, preferring instead to maintain a comfortable silence. Fergus' attention alternated between the warm hand on his arm and the dead weight of the sleeping baby on his shoulder. He felt … peaceful. Safe, even. It struck him as odd that an infant and his mother would cause him to feel safe, but they did somehow. He decided not to analyze it and instead basked in the rightness of the moment. After all, those sorts of moments did not occur often in a person's lifetime – he decided it was best to take advantage of the rare times when they happened.

They came to Delilah's room and she opened the door and stepped inside. Fergus followed her and carefully undid the lacings on Sam's doublet as he took care not to awaken him. It took a bit of maneuvering, but he somehow managed to slide the jacket off the baby's arms before laying him down in his crib. Throughout the process, the baby slept peacefully and barely even stirred.

"He's exhausted," Delilah remarked in a soft voice. "Thank you, Fergus." Fergus stood over the rail and just watched Samuel sleep for a minute, and Delilah stood next to him. "They're so peaceful when they sleep."

"They really are. I miss that the most about having a child around," Fergus agreed in a whisper. He watched Samuel sleep for a moment longer, then turned to go. "You must be tired too. I should let you rest." He moved toward the door and Delilah followed him, presumably to let him out. As he reached the door, he heard her clear her throat. He turned to look at her and saw her shifting her feet nervously.

"I … I guess you have to go to Highever soon, now that the wedding is over," she said quietly. Her tone was casual, but Fergus thought he saw a trace of sadness make it way past her calm exterior. He felt his mood change to match hers. He didn't _want_ to leave.

"Yes," he heard himself say, then he sighed heavily. He could hear the resignation in his voice. "I'll probably leave first thing tomorrow, after breakfast." He suddenly wanted, no, he _needed,_ to talk to her, to tell her everything he had been feeling and thinking over the course of the past month. "Delilah, I … this month … it's been ..." He didn't know _what_ to say. He looked at her helplessly as he tried to find the words to convey what his very soul was trying to tell him. "I … I _have_ to go back to Highever, but ..." He looked to see her watching him with eyes that spoke of understanding and a reluctance that perfectly matched his.

He didn't even realize that he had wound a hand into her hair and had wrapped the other around her waist to pull her closer until his head angled down to touch his lips to hers. In the back of his mind, he hoped that he'd been gentle with her as he kissed her, but then she sighed and his heart pounded and his world became narrowed down to Delilah and her taste and smell and feel.

She consumed him. She was soft, so soft – hair, lips, curves, skin – that every time his mind registered a new part of her, he reveled in how perfect she felt to him. Her taste was exquisite – he felt like he was sampling the finest wine and was getting drunk on just a taste for how she electrified his tongue and he wanted _more_. Oh, Maker, he wanted more! Her smell surrounded him; the soap and lilacs he had scented before were still strong, but there was a new smell that was uniquely her and it drugged him, kept him wanting to stay right there, for it was the best thing he thought he'd ever smelled. With one kiss he was forever branded by her. The thought had him groan into her mouth and she answered with a low, husky sound that escaped from the back of her throat.

_My love …_ The thought startled him into awareness. He released her lips and panted as he tried to regain his bearings and his breath. Both were elusive. The haze that had taken over his mind finally started to recede and he was shocked to realize that he had pushed her up against the closed door and was holding her hips still while involuntarily rocking against her. Her hair was completely disheveled and her lips swollen, and her eyes were glassy. She had wrapped her arms around his neck and still had one hand in his hair.

He fought a battle of wills against his traitorous body and managed to finally stop his motions, although it required him to close his eyes and pretend he hadn't noticed how he really _liked_ seeing her mussed up by his actions. _I should have had better control than that._ He groaned at himself. "I've behaved like an animal," he finally said. "You deserve better than that."

"No," she said. Fergus opened his eyes in surprise to see her looking at him with suddenly alert eyes, although she was still gasping for air like he was. "Don't apologize. There's no need." She trailed her hands down from his neck to rest on his chest, the whole time keeping her eyes on his. "I … that was … wow." He groaned in agreement and rested his forehead against hers so that he wouldn't kiss her. He was afraid that if he did, he would end up taking her on the spot.

"Delilah, I … I don't know what this is yet," he murmured, "but I'd like to see where it goes, with your permission." He paused and took a much-needed gulp of air. "May I write you?"

He felt her fingers tighten on his shirt and heard something that sounded remarkably like a sob. He opened his eyes and lifted his head to see her smiling at him with tears in her eyes. "Yes, I … I would like that very much." Her lip trembled as she brought one of her hands to his cheek. He leaned into the touch before pressing a kiss to her palm, then gathered her into his arms and held her close while he waited for his heart to stop racing. She wrapped her arms around him as well and they stood silently, her head over his heart, until their breathing calmed down a little.

"Are you all right?" Fergus asked as he let go of her and stepped back. He was rewarded with a brilliant smile and a nod. He stepped forward involuntarily before he remembered himself. "I … I would kiss you again," he said in an unsteady voice, "but I don't trust myself." He heard his voice turn husky with the thought and grinned at her. She gasped, but her smile never dimmed. If anything, she smiled even more broadly. He did allow himself to brush her cheek with the backs of his fingers and touch her lips with his thumb; he marveled again at how _soft_ she was. "You tempt me far too much." He grinned at her again to show he was not truly blaming her and was pleased to see a humorous light enter her eyes.

"Well, we can't have that, can we?" she replied, and her voice was just as husky as his. She stepped aside as he put a hand on the door handle. "Will I see you at breakfast?"

"Absolutely," he said. "I wouldn't miss it for the world." With that, he opened the door and let himself out. He looked back and saw her watching him. "Sleep well, Delilah," he said and surprised himself with the amount of tenderness in his voice.

Her expression grew soft as she responded in kind. "You too, Fergus. See you in the morning." They shared a smile before he quietly pulled the door closed and made his way to his room where he didn't sleep a wink, although he didn't mind so much. The thoughts he had of Delilah far overshadowed any need he might have had for rest.


	8. Written Correspondence

_Dear Delilah,_

_Greetings, milady. I hope that this letter finds you and yours in excellent health. We made good time coming to Highever from Amaranthine, and are now …_

"Ugh." Fergus crumpled up the note and tossed it into the fireplace. He took out a new sheet of vellum and tried again.

_Dearest Delilah,_

_How are you? I am well. We just got back to Highever and -_

That one ended up in the fireplace too.

"It's just a letter, Fergus." He put his head down on the desk for a moment as he paused to think. He took a couple of deep breaths, then lifted his head. Pieces of vellum were littered across the floor between the desk and the fireplace, all crumpled and with varying amounts of ink on them. _So much for a quick note when we got back._

Fergus was about to dip his pen into the inkwell and make yet another attempt when a knock sounded at the door. "Enter!" he called out, and the door opened to reveal Aura standing on the other side. She walked in and closed the door behind her before crossing the room to sit on one of the chairs on the other side of Fergus' desk. She looked down at the floor and saw the crumpled documents, then looked at Fergus with a raised eyebrow. "I'm trying to write a letter," he explained lamely. "I'm … having trouble with the wording."

"Ah, I see," was her reply. Her only reaction otherwise was to smirk briefly with a look of amusement on her face. Before she could inquire further to the nature of his misguided attempts at written communication, Fergus spoke up.

"What can I do for you, Aura?" He leaned back in his chair and threaded his fingers together, resting his hands on his stomach. He watched her suddenly blush and grinned. "Did Teagan get settled all right in his room?"

"Yes, he did," she said, then paused. The look on her face was happy and worried all at once. Fergus wondered what that was about. He didn't have to wait very long for his answer. "Teagan said he will leave for Redcliffe tomorrow." Fergus nodded to show he understood, and she continued. "Fergus, he … He wants me to go with him when he leaves." She suddenly broke out into a smile. "He asked me to marry him!"

Fergus was up and out of his chair before he realized it. "That's wonderful news!" he exclaimed as he rounded his desk to Aura's chair. "Congratulations!" Aura stood and he gathered her to himself as he hugged her tight. He released her and put his hands on her upper arms as he smiled down at her. "You said yes, of course."

Aura smiled up at him. "Yes, I did." Then the worry crept back into her eyes. "Fergus, I don't want to abandon you. You've only just started to feel better ..." Her voice trailed off and her worry intensified and added a layer of uncertainty. She studied his face carefully.

"Aura." Fergus smiled at her. "You need to live. You _deserve_ this, after everything." He gently squeezed her upper arms. "I'll be all right." His voice changed from reassuring to teasing. "Besides, this gives me an excuse to come visit! I'll get to laze about and ask you to serve me wine and cheese and grapes." He grinned at her with a twinkle in his eye, then he sobered a little and reassured her further. "I'll miss you, Aura, but this is wonderful for you. You two are great together." At his words, Aura blushed again and Fergus laughed quietly. She looked down for a brief moment, then when she looked up again, her worry was replaced by wonder.

"I never expected this," she confessed. "I … it seems too good to be true. But then I look and there he is." She shook her head, but the smile on her face outweighed any confusion she might have felt. "He wants to try to have children, Fergus. I didn't think I'd get the chance." The look of wonder came back to her face and Fergus smiled broadly in response.

"You'll make a terrific mother, Aura," he said softly. He then let go of her arms and smiled again. "So, details! When and where, and all those fun things?"

Aura laughed. "After the next Landsmeet, I think," she said with a smile. "Teagan wanted to avoid having Alfstanna travel before her baby is born, and since the Landsmeet will be about that time ..." she shrugged a little. "He wants to have the ceremony in Redcliffe, in the Chantry there." She covered her mouth with her hands. "Oh, Maker, this is really happening, isn't it?" She smiled so widely that Fergus was sure her cheeks would soon become sore. She looked up at Fergus. "You'll be one of our witnesses, I hope?"

"Yes, it appears it is happening. Those sound like excellent plans, and of course I'll witness your marriage. I wouldn't miss it for anything." Fergus smiled again. "Do you want me to have some of the servants pack your things and send them to Redcliffe for you? That way you can take the essentials now and you won't have to spend the rest of the night trying to get everything together, and we can celebrate with a special dinner!" He made a mental note to ask the cook to prepare Aura's favorite dish for supper that night, and to serve it with their best bottle of wine.

Aura looked relieved when Fergus asked about her things. "That would be wonderful. Thank you." Her shoulders relaxed imperceptibly. "I was trying to figure out how I would get it all done tonight. I didn't realize how much I had brought here!" At this, Fergus laughed.

"I _told_ you not to shop so often in the marketplace." At that comment, Aura sighed and pretended to be exasperated. Fergus laughed again. "All right, all right." He put his hands up in supplication, then lowered them to his sides. "Go spend time with Teagan," he commanded quietly. "You need to celebrate. I can make sure your things arrive quickly."

At that, Aura hugged Fergus again and then turned to leave. At the door, she stopped and turned back to face him. "I am _incredibly_ grateful to call you my friend, Fergus. You're one of my favorite people in all of Thedas." Her eyes grew soft for a moment, then her 'knowing' look took over. "Oh, and by the way," she said too casually, "I find that the best letters I received from Kristoff were those he wrote without working too hard. He would just write as if he was speaking to me." She grinned at him and left the room, closing the door behind her as she went.

Fergus chuckled at Aura's comment and realized belatedly that he'd been grinning nearly the entire time. "I really don't know what I'll do without you here, Aura." He allowed the affection he was feeling for his friend creep into his voice. "You always give me the best advice." With that, he returned to his desk and picked up his pen, dipping it in the inkwell before beginning to write his letter.

_Dear Delilah,_

_We arrived back at the castle two hours ago, and I decided I wanted to send my first letter to you immediately. The trip was blissfully boring and we arrived here two days earlier than I would have expected. Of course, I would rather not have left Amaranthine at all, since your company is far, far better than that of my seneschal. He's dreadfully boring and always wants me to read reports and meet with banns. Imagine, having to do my job! The nerve of the man! (Also, you are far more attractive than he is. Ugh, the sideburns he grows down to his collarbone give me nightmares! But I didn't say that – Stevens does an excellent job and I'm lucky to have him working for me.)_

_I have thought about you much of the time since I last saw you. I thought most about your kindness and intelligence, Delilah; during the time we spent talking, I found myself constantly amazed at your ability to speak intelligently on a number of subjects. Your quick wit and insight on everything we discussed never failed to impress me. After that, seeing how wonderful you are as a mother to Sam and a friend to all at the keep made me realize how truly rare it is for a woman of your qualities to come along. _

_Of course, I also thought about your beauty. I imagine you must hear this all the time, but your lovely green eyes, your perfect skin, and your silken hair create a picture that stuns me every time I see it. I hope that this doesn't embarrass you to read, Delilah, but I find you irresistibly attractive. I have to practically hold my hands behind my back for fear that I will muss you in public just for the chance to brush my fingers against your cheek or touch your hair._

_I will write more soon – I want to save something to write about later – but I did want to share one last bit of news. Teagan and Aura are getting married! Teagan proposed to Aura just today and she accepted. The wedding will be sometime after the Landsmeet. I imagine Teagan will want to share the news himself with Elissa, but there's no reason you can't be the first to know, is there? You can declare to everyone at the keep that you just knew it would happen and win the betting pool that I am certain is going round even as I write this._

_I greatly look forward to seeing you again, Delilah. I will try to make my way back to Amaranthine as soon as my duties permit. In the meantime, I will have to settle for thinking about you and Samuel and all the ways that spending time with the both of you made my days pass quickly, even as I try to avoid visibly shuddering at my seneschal's Sideburns of Doom._

_Yours,_

_Fergus_

-0-0-0-

_Dear Fergus,_

_Words can not adequately express my pleasure at receiving a note from you so soon after your departure from Vigil's Keep! You flatter me, ser, with your kind words. Oh, the blushing that they caused - I can not describe how glad I am that you find me more attractive than a man who has enough facial hair to put fear into your heart! _

_It has been quiet at the keep since you left. Samuel and I both miss your company – mealtimes are far too dull, and Sam makes his displeasure known by tossing his food about. (I decided not to throw my food on the floor, since all the soldiers would look at me strangely.) Sometimes you can see clearly where his bowl and spoon were by the food strewn all over the table. It's a good thing he likes taking baths, but I may need to get Erna to sew me some extra dresses for the changes of clothing I seem to require. _

_I am very glad to read that you had no trouble going home. Of course, I would have been surprised if you had encountered any major problems on the main roads. Between your efforts at maintaining peace in the region and the number of patrols that you and Elissa both employ, I imagine most bandits would much prefer to take their business elsewhere. It's wonderful to see that the Cousland reputation for excellent leadership is so richly deserved!_

_It seems strange to me that only a month spent in your presence has caused me to develop such strong habits. I find myself routinely looking for you as Sam and I take our afternoon walk in the marketplace, and each time brings me disappointment when I remember that you are not staying at the keep now. Your seat in the dining hall sits empty as I feed Sam, and frequent are the times when I think of something mundane I would like to tell you, only to realize that you are not there to hear it. I shall get used to it, I suspect, but I find myself constantly surprised at how unaccustomed I am to having only Sam for company. He is working on his conversational skills, however, so soon I shall have plenty to listen to. I do look forward to seeing you again, and I hope that we will have the honor of your presence sooner rather than later.  
_

_I thank you again for your letter, and look forward to reading your next correspondence._

_Your faithful servant,_

_Delilah_

_P.S. Thanks to your timely information about Teagan and Aura, I am now five silvers richer! Samuel and I thank you for the lovely wooden blocks that the proceeds purchased. They have proved to be great fun for stacking, and in addition Samuel informs me that they are quite tasty._

Fergus finished reading Delilah's response and realized he'd been smiling for several minutes. He carefully folded her note and put it in the top drawer of his desk, then pulled out a clean sheet of vellum and took up his pen to compose a new letter.


	9. Return to the Keep

_We're almost there._ Fergus' anticipation grew ever higher with each step he took toward Vigil's Keep. He thought of the letters that he and Delilah had written back and forth and smiled to himself. They both had written frequently enough that their letters had usually crossed paths in transit, and learned quite a lot about each other in the process. Fergus felt like he knew Delilah better than he'd known anyone since Oriana, and the more he learned about her, the more he enjoyed her company.

And now he was going to get to see her in person for the first time in two months. That was far, far better than letters. His step quickened without his notice and he strode eagerly toward the keep. When the outlying fields of the structure, then the gates themselves, came into view, he found that he had to slow down a little to avoid running the rest of the way. Five hundred yards quickly closed to three hundred, then two, then one … Finally! He crossed under the open keep gate and entered the courtyard to see Elissa waiting for him with a smile on her face.

"Little sister!" he exclaimed as he swept her into a hug. Elissa laughed and he swung her around in a circle before setting her down. He quickly, and he thought unobtrusively, glanced around to see if Delilah was in the courtyard. She wasn't. Fergus swallowed his momentary disappointment; it was lunchtime, so she must have been off feeding Sam. Elissa's low laugh brought his attention back to her face, where she observed him with a look of great amusement on her face.

"I see married life agrees with you, sister," he said with a smile. And he meant every word of it – Elissa looked happy and content, and peace radiated from every fiber of her being. Her smile reached all the way to her eyes and, in fact, seemed to originate there. "How have you been?"

Elissa turned so that she was facing the keep with him, and he kept an arm slung over her shoulder as they walked toward the inner courtyard. "Everything's been running smoothly," she said, and Fergus could hear the smile in her voice. "It's nice to have some quiet for a change." Fergus laughed at that in agreement and they walked together in silence for a moment before she continued. "I have been very well," she finally said, and looked up at him. Fergus couldn't remember the last time he had seen his little sister completely free of the shadows that formerly haunted her eyes. He supposed it must have been before the blight that she had looked so whole. "And yes, married life _does_ agree with me, I suppose." Her face broke into a sudden grin. "I certainly hadn't expected it would, but ..." she shrugged, and Fergus could feel the movement under his arm.

"I'm glad for you, Sister," Fergus said. He smiled as she looked up at him and squeezed him with the arm she had wrapped around his waist as they walked. They entered the inner courtyard, then the keep itself. With each new entrance, Fergus' eyes involuntarily roamed the area to see if Delilah was waiting for him. He thought he was being surreptitious about it, but when they reached the main hall and he looked yet again, he heard Elissa laugh.

"She's in her rooms, eating lunch with Sam." Fergus' eyes darted down to Elissa's face, where she was grinning at him with a knowing look. He felt his face heat up and inwardly cursed his traitorous body for giving him away. "I had the cook send up extra lunch on the off chance that you would arrive – she would have just sent the food up." She let go of Fergus' waist and turned to face him, forcing him to drop his arm from around her shoulders. She pushed gently on his chest. "Go. Your mind is there anyway, and there's nothing going on that can't wait until tomorrow. I'll get your men settled in the barracks."

Fergus barely had time to smile his thanks before his feet carried him swiftly out of the main hall and to the staircase. As he made his way to Delilah's rooms, he removed his gauntlets and hung them in his left hand, holding them by the cuffs. He was almost running by the time he reached the family wing of the estate, but he didn't even notice whether or not his armor was clanking as he rushed to the door that hid Delilah from his sight.

Suddenly, he stopped just outside the door, frozen in place by … was it _nerves?_ He couldn't be nervous! This was _Delilah_, for Andraste's sake! Still, he had a sudden lump in his throat and he had trouble raising his hand to knock on the door. He took a few deep breaths and that helped, but only a little, so he muttered to himself. "Calm down, Fergus. It will be _fine._ Just go in there." After a few moments and a quiet morale-boosting speech to himself, Fergus' hand finally raised to knock on the door.

He rapped quietly with his knuckles, and heard a faint, "Come in!" from within. With the invitation, he put his hand on the door handle and turned it, then swung the door into the room. There she was, sitting at the table, looking up at the door to see who had knocked.

_Oh, Maker._ Fergus gulped and just … just stared. He saw Delilah's eyes widen and take in his face, and the blush that rose on her cheeks made her look all the more beautiful. He mentally willed his feet to carry him into the room, but they refused to obey. Likewise, she had a spoon stuck midway on its apparent path to the baby's mouth. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. How did that happen? Wasn't it supposed to be the other way? He had always thought that he would have built up the vision of her in his mind to the point where no mortal could ever compete, but yet here he was, staring at a woman who could have rivaled Andraste herself.

He watched her face suddenly take on an expression of nervousness. _Delilah, don't be,_ his mind told her, although his mouth refused to cooperate and say the words aloud. _It's just me._ The thought may not have been put to voice, but it did manage to dislodge his feet from the threshold of her room and propel them toward her.

He didn't know how he ended up kneeling at her feet and he didn't care. All he knew is that suddenly, his mouth was on hers and his arms were around her, and _oh Maker he'd missed her and he didn't know how much until now_ and he really wanted to make up for lost time and she tasted so sweet, _so_ sweet and he had to have _more_ …

Suddenly, he found himself distracted by a loud clatter and something wet hitting the side of his face. He reluctantly detached himself from that delicious, delicious mouth and blinked as he tried to catch his breath and figure out what had caused the disturbance. Delilah, for her part, had gone all flushed and seemed to have trouble catching her breath as well, but when her eyes lost a little of their dazed look and began to focus again, she laughed breathlessly at him. He quirked a brow in response to her giggles, and she explained. "Sam," she gasped out and touched where the wet had hit his face, then pulled her fingers away to show him some stew that had gotten stuck in his beard.

_Ah. I can't believe I forgot he was here!_ Fergus decided he really needed to start wearing his armor on a regular basis to hide his body's base response to Delilah's proximity and chuckled. He looked over to Samuel, who was sitting in his little chair and eyeing the pair of adults with an expression that clearly stated, "I am the baby here, and I am _supposed_ to be the center of the universe. What gives?" Fergus smothered the urge to laugh and looked back at Delilah. She had taken a napkin off the table and dipped it in her water glass so that she could hand it to him. He gratefully took the cloth from her hand, shivering involuntarily when their fingers touched, and wiped his face off with the napkin. Delilah watched him with a soft smile on her face.

When Fergus was clean enough, he rose to his feet and rounded the table to reach Samuel's side. He squatted down by the baby. "Hello there!" He said cheerfully. "My apologies, ser. It was not my intent to ignore your presence. I understand you had a birthday a few days ago and have come with presents. Will it suffice to transfer them to your possession later today?" He heard Delilah's soft laugh off to the side and grinned. Samuel, for his part, definitely preferred to receive undivided attention and grinned back at Fergus before jamming fingers in his mouth and gurgling. "I shall take that as a yes," Fergus told the baby with mock solemnity. "Shall I put a time down in your busy schedule for gifts?" This earned another laugh from Delilah, and suddenly Fergus' life felt complete.

_I want this to go on forever. _He was more surprised by the fact that the thought didn't seem too hasty than by the idea itself. He felt sure that the thought showed on his face, but a quick glance at Delilah showed that either his feelings hadn't manifested in his expression or she hadn't noticed when they had. This was something he had to examine for later, when he was alone, so he stored the thought for when the opportunity arose and pulled up a chair. "How about I feed Sam and you eat?" he suggested. "I'm not hungry at all yet." Delilah's answering smile was all the thanks he needed.

-0-0-0-

After he got settled, ate dinner in the mess hall, briefly met with Elissa and Nathaniel regarding their schedule to observe spring planting (that WAS the ostensible reason why Fergus had come to the keep, after all; he was supposed to be checking on the arling's farms firsthand), and got back to his room, Fergus sat to think.

_Forever?_

_Could I _do _that? Promise myself to someone after Oriana? _He furrowed his brow as he considered the possiblity._ Six months ago, I would never have thought it would be possible, but now …_ He thought about Delilah and her smile, about their conversations and letters, and their ability to speak on any topic. He thought about Samuel, and the thought brought a smile to his face. He was a bright little boy with lots of personality, and Fergus already loved him like a son.

_Like a son …_ Suddenly his eyes widened. _If I go through with this, I would be placing a Howe in direct succession to the teyrnir. I know I promised myself I would never do that. But, that was before. Before I got to know Delilah …_ His thoughts drifted off to Delilah again, and he imagined her doing all the things his mother used to do: running the estate, managing the household staff, helping his father with major decisions concerning the teyrnir. He imagined training Samuel to take over someday, and possibly making the boy seneschal when Stevens retired. The more he thought about these things, the more he realized that the picture he was building in his head fit perfectly. It felt … it felt _right._ It made sense to him and fit in his vision of the way things _should_ be. And by the Maker Himself, Fergus _knew_ that all of it was something he wanted.

Then his brain conjured the image of a glowing Delilah, belly swollen with his child, and his reaction was so immediate and so visceral that he forgot to breathe with the impact it made. He had _never_ had that reaction to a mental picture before, even when Oriana had been alive and he had dreamed of having more children with her. "Maker's breath," he murmured to himself. "Putting the cart before the horse there, Fergus." Still, the image stayed with him.

_I need to think on this some more. It's too soon! But, this feels RIGHT. Let's see how this visit goes and if I still feel the same way when I leave as I do now. _He smiled at his next thought. _I … I think I might be in love with her._


End file.
